The Day of Atonement

I find it extremely coincidental that on the Day of Atonement (today), I would feel the true cost sin has had upon the human race. My heart feels as though it would burst with grief from the constant separation from the Lord. I long for his return. I am tired of this Earth and all it's sin. I am tired of the constant struggle to find joy; the everlasting pain to stay connected with the Lord. I wonder if there will be ebbs and flows in heaven or if we will always be in perfect communion with our love. Whatever the case, there must be more than this. There must be a place safe from the enemy, where all we know is love. A place where there is no fear, no failure, just grace. A place where joy is everlasting and peace is normal. A place of truth. 

There is no such place here on Earth. There is no such place in this life. The Enemy will always contend. He will always hunt. He will live on in an ever present flowing force until the day the Lord destroys him forever. Is this why Jesus came? Is this what he is saving us from? Will he mend the brokenness while we are still here on Earth? Will he touch our hearts in an everlasting way? Or will he lead us on in a torturous relationship of coming and going? He comes and steals our heart and then leaves and allows the enemy to attack. What kind of lover is that? What kind of lover is that? 

Oh the day that my heart is free. That will be a day worth living for. Today is no such day.