A Garden of Plenty

I was in a garden with walls and high gates. I was happy there, for I knew nothing more. But the Lord came and dismantled the gates and tore down the walls. He said to me, “Roam where you want. Do whatever you please. Anything you want, is yours.”

At first I was overwhelmed. Where do I go? What do I do?

 I began to explore and I found great food and joyful parties. I found large kingdoms and all the riches of the world. 

I went deeper in and I found miracles, signs, and wonders. I saw worshippers of the Lord and people manifesting all His greatness. And I saw all that I could be, in all God’s glory. 

Then I turned around and I saw my God. And all else became like dust and ash to me. It was lifeless and dull, and had a draw no longer. So, I ran to my God, my love, and I stayed with him. I communed with him. I laughed with Him. And I loved him. And He was well pleased, for I had chosen Him, and Him alone, in all my freedom.

-Tara

 

Why I Am Where I Am

This is another e-mail response that really gives an overview of my journey of how I got to be where I am now. It is much more elaborate than this in practice, but it takes the reader through some of the thought process. This was actually in response to a dear friend challenging me with Mormonism as an option for my life. Please note: All of these responses were in love, not rudeness or anger. I really appreciate the challenge from my friends.

None of us, not one, has a full and complete understanding of who God is. We may know pieces, and some of us know more pieces than others, but not one of us knows Him completely…yet. So, if the Lord were to keep himself from us until we understood him in his fullness, than none of us would have relationship with God. So, the Lord meets us where we are and begins to reveal pieces of Himself, his love. If and when we respond to that love, then He reveals more of himself to us.

You see, we love because He first loved us. He loves, we respond.

3 years ago, the Lord ventured to take me further into him. It was a whole new step.  My dad gave us a book called, “A New Kind of Christian.” I never read it, but DH did. DH began sharing with me the things it was saying. I don’t even remember what it said, but I remember it made me angry. I was livid! I thought, “How can they say things like that!? They are so wrong!”

Yet, the arguments were pretty strong. Strong enough to make me wonder.

Never before in my life had I questioned my religion. But I found myself doing just that. I was so upset that I would even consider it. The more I heard, however, the more I considered it. Not necessarily considering what the book was saying to be true, but really just taking a hard look at my faith.

I realized that my faith was one of my defining features. It was part of who I was. I was a Christian. I stood by Christianity and believed it my whole life. I believed in God, that was not in question. He had proven himself to me too many times for me not to. With all this going through my mind, confusion took over.

I can remember this exact moment. I was standing in the kitchen, doing dishes, and I felt like the world was spinning around me. I could see all my beliefs flying around my head. I didn’t know which ones to grab onto. I probably would have fainted soon, but something happened. I distinctly felt the Lord grab my face. He looked me right in the eye and said, “Hey! It’s about you and me, and that’s it.” Then it was as if someone hit the gravity switch, and all the things around me fell to the ground.

That was the beginning of my religious stripping. 

 

Then the Lord gave me a vision. As I prayed, the Lord came on me and said, "What everyone needs is me. I AM. I AM the want in everyone’s soul. I am the very thing you’re always looking for. When you want chocolate, you’re really wanting me. When you breath, you’re really needing me. When you are hungry, you’re really wanting me. Your body was designed for me, and everything you do is a result of searching for me. So the answer to what anyone needs is me, because I AM everything you need.” As He spoke, He filled me so completely with his presence, that I received the full sensation of what He was talking about. I was high off of it for weeks. Like Moses coming down from the mountain, except I wasn’t glowing.

After that, I went to church and the pastors words were like dust and ash compared to the words of the Lord. Why would I listen to them when I could hear it straight from the source? The Lord showed me He wanted me to stop going to church. As much as this felt contradictory to what I had always believed about God, I was thinking differently now, so I stopped going.

Over the next 3 years, the Lord took me on a journey of showing me more and more about Himself. Books, dreams, circumstances, anything. The spirit was a constant interpreter. He showed me more and more of His love. I began to see how blind I was. 

One day I was asking the Lord to tell me more about Himself and He said, “I AM. I am just me. I cannot describe myself with words, any more than someone could describe you. Someone could write a whole book about you, but unless they spent time with you, they would never really know you. They would just know about you. It is the same with me. You can read all about me, hear all about me, but until you spend time with me, you will never know me. Therefore, I AM. Therefore, take away all my labels, and I am taking away all of yours. Let’s just know each other.”

Another time, He expanded on this. He said, “I am taking you to a place where you will listen to me, and me alone. You will no longer compare what I tell you with any religion, idea, cause, or box. Take me out of all your boxes. Let it all go. You are no longer a Christian. When you label yourself in any religion, you place me in a box. When I act outside of that box, you reject that part of me, and refuse to walk in it. I am bigger than any box you can conceive.”

Since then, I haven’t been a “Christian.”

As far as “universalism,” since that would be the red flag going up in most religions at this point. I’m not clear on it. I don’t have to be, because my opinion won’t change it anyway. I honestly don’t even think about it much.

What I have seen, now that I’m not blinded with fear by other people’s beliefs, is that God is working in Christianity, Mormonism, Catholics, Atheists, Muslims, The Emerging Church, Universalists, etc... Wherever there is love, the Lord is there. The enemy is incapable of love. I can see different pieces of Him in those different places. They are the pieces their box has allowed in.

Where He decides to take people from there, or how He decides to judge them, is out of my understanding right now.

However, I do believe that if we continue to respond to God, He will continue to reveal more and more of himself to us, as this is His desire. He wants to love us and have us receive His love. As He reveals more of Himself to us, we will naturally come into alignment with him. It’s about the journey, not the destination. It’s about a relationship, not a belief system. I am no longer anxious about it. I will follow wherever He leads. Because ultimately, “It’s about me and Him, and that’s it.”

 

Heaven and Hell Explanation

Here is another e-mail response I wanted to share. I have a dear friend that wanted to know what my new opinion on heaven and hell was. This is what I wrote to her.

My ideas about heaven and hell have changed, but are not yet definitive. The main thing that has changed, is that I no longer believe it to be the point. The Christian church is all about "saving you from hell," but I disagree. I don't believe hell is what Jesus came to save us from. I believe Jesus came to set us free from the bondage sin put us in. When we were put into the bondage, we were separated from the Father. I believe when Jesus died, his sin covered everyone, not just those that have faith. 

However, I believe that no one can enter the "Kingdom" unless they have relationship with God, through Jesus. Hence, "No one can enter the Kingdom except through me." Yet, I do not believe the Kingdom is heaven. I believe, but am reserving the right to change my mind on this, that Heaven and Earth are places, and the "world" and the "kingdom" are mindsets (for lack of a better term.)

 I don't even think about hell. 

The Kingdom is an indescribable place where God resides and his authority reigns. The kingdom is the place where you can "ask anything in my name, and it will be given to you." This is why I believe it says, "Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." It is the authority and presence of God. I believe you can be on earth and in the Kingdom at the same time. I hypothesize that would mean you could be in heaven and in the world at the same time.

 I commonly experience the kingdom. I have also experienced being "born again." Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless you are born again, you cannot enter the kingdom." Before I actually experienced it, I thought being born again meant "accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and savior." I now know that when I did that it was my "conception," not birth. Being born was a tedious road of stripping away the foundation of the enemy and squeezing me through a narrow canal out into the kingdom on the other side. (This almost killed me.) Then, having the Lord start me out as a baby, building my foundation on Him, and relationship with Him. I have no other way to describe it than that. I truly believe it has to be experienced, and that only God can do it. There is no set formula or speech to get one there. 

I believe the "world" is the enemies mindset. It is a facade to distract us and get us to worship him and his ways. I believe the central theme of the enemy's kingdom is money. Hence, "you cannot serve both God and money. In the "world" we make it a God, letting it define us and using it as our security. This does not mean I believe everyone that has money is evil. I just know it to be the tool the enemy uses most. In the rich and the poor. It makes people that are poor feel "less than," and people who have money feel "better than." Forcing us to define ourselves by our financial (or success) status, rather than who the Lord says that we are. It consumes our minds and constant thoughts and has corrupted men for all time. However, "the World" is manifested in multiple ways.  

The subject of Hell hasn't really come up between the Lord and I, so I figure it must not be the point, or He probably would have made it urgent. Again, I reserve the right to change my opinion. Hope that explains what I think somewhat. It's really hard to describe, and I never have before. 

Talk to you soon,

Tara

His plan

Wow! I am in awe. We are in such a flow of the Spirit right now. It is such a refreshing time. 

The last two days have been grounding, but great. The Holy Spirit showed me that I have been mystified by the local church here. I came here thinking that the church was the reason we were moving up here, but I was wrong. The church is still just another church. No matter how you package it, it's still a church. The Lord showed me that is not why we are here. The people are why we are here. He reminded me that He has taken me out of Christianity and all other boxes and to not fall into that thinking any longer. I am free from it! 

God has been bringing us a group of people that are of the same heart, and I am ecstatic. We have been living in our house less than a week, and tonight we had 10 visitors. All of them were wonderful! We threw a birthday party for a new friend who is 45-ish :), and then when they left (and we were cleaning up and getting the kids ready for bed) 6 more people showed up. 5 of them were new people. The second group was a group of artists, and they played music, we sang, saw a spiritual card trick, danced, and talked. Oh yeah, one of the guys had written two songs, one for me and one for Danny, that symbolized who we were. They were completely instrumental, and right on! It was such a blessing. It was great. DH found a running partner, as well as a dance instructor who teaches swing on Thursday nights. I found a group of people to explore the arts with. The owner of the gallery holds Saturday night sessions where there is music, and art that everyone can get involved in. I am going to go to these. I think I will blossom in that environment. I have decided not to go to iWar, so if I asked you for a recommendation, please disregard it.  Like I've said before: I reserve the right to change my opinion or stance on anything. I am completely open to letting the Lord correct me, because I want what He has planned, not anything I come up with on my own.

Talk to you soon...

Tara

    

Surprise

Well, the Lord has been moving like crazy in our lives. He really has been for the past year, which is right in line with the "quickening" prophecy that came to us via Graham Cooke. The Lord has been showing us a lot about who we are according to his kingdom, which is radically different than who we are according to the world. As he has revealed these things to us, he has given us specific tasks to complete and challenges to overcome. All to bring us closer to who He wants us to be. One specific line in the prophecy is:

When you know who you are, then you know how you are supposed to live.

This being said, He has revealed who we are and what our role in the kingdom is. A good overview of this comes in Luke 10. Luke 10 is the verse we just received via prophecy this past weekend. Here is a piece of that verse:

After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road..."

It was really a good overview of everything the Lord has been telling us. The prophecy also stressed moving immediately. Unsure of where that might be, we went home in anticipation of the Lord showing up and revealing His plan to us. This was Sunday. On Wednesday, the plan started to unfold. By Thursday morning, it was in motion. 

What's the plan? Well, as far as we can see, we will be moving up to Vacaville, Ca, and immersing ourselves in the kingdom culture there via the Mission fellowship. All the doors have been swung wide open for this. My husband's company even had an opening in Sacramento and were happy to give it to him. I'm not sure what the Father's plan is, and whenever I try to figure it out, I get stressed and overwhelmed. So all I can say is, I trust him. I do not know the full extent of His plan. But I know it's Him, so I know it's good.   

As of right now, our time frame is about 2 months before we leave, but we are open to whatever the Lord has planned. He is good and His timing is perfect. As always, updates will follow. 

Until then,

Tara

Trusting God Alone

That we ought, once for all, heartily to put our whole trust in GOD,

and make a total surrender of ourselves to Him, secure that He would

not deceive us.  

 -An excerpt from The Practice of the Presence of God the Best Rule of a Holy Life, Brother Lawrence 

 This is where I am, and it is the hardest challenge I have yet to face. I am not a peacemaker, I am an ice breaker, and in that, I will never please man. I cannot please both man and God, and while that seems like a no brainer, it is the hardest thing yet. To have a world angry at you for the sake of God, is no more comforting than knowing you will be executed in the morning. However, there is freedom in it. There is freedom on the other side of this that I can taste. So, I press on and know the Lord is good.

A White Canvas

I saw a vision. A vision of many people going about their lives. Some were working, some washing their cars, some mowing lawns, some reading, some playing. Just life happening all around. The Lord came to me and said, "Now let me show you what is real." And he took away everything but the people. All the people were standing as if on a white canvas. There were no houses, no cars, no jobs, no lawns, no sky or clouds, no food, just people. My heart went out to them as I realized the lies of the enemy. We are so distracted from what really matters. I'm angry that I have allowed the enemy to keep me from my brothers and sisters; that I have not loved them. I wanted to stretch out my arms and pull them all into me and just love on them in whatever way possible. 

Friends, the ONLY thing that matters is relationships. Relationship with God and relationships with people. All else will decay and waste away. All else is a lie from the enemy to keep us distracted from truth. I think this is why God takes us away from our homes many times to minister to people. It takes us away from our distractions, like keeping our house clean, or our lawn mowed, or our business in order, and it takes us into a place where people are what matters. Where all you have left are the people. If only we could grasp that in our home. If only we could all see it and embrace each other in that way, prioritizing each other, opening our hearts to each other, sharing the Lord with each other, then we would be so much stronger, so much more in the truth. 

What can we do to remedy this? Is there an answer? Do you notice when you are away from home that you are more likely to focus on relationships? Do you think it's possible to let go of all else and live for relationships alone? Do we dare?

Tara

More Desert Truth

 "I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am." 

All our lives, people and culture tell us who we are, and we believe them. We accept it and define ourselves by their labels... yet they are wrong. The Lord has a different definition of who we are, and it is the truth. 

The truth is, Jesus died for all our ugliness. He died for all our impurities, our pride, our shame, our malice, and our mistakes. It's done, settled, paid for, forgotten. They no longer exist. Therefore, all accounts of recollection are merely shadows, as all else in this world is that is outside of relationship. It is just another piece of unreality. It is a piece that lives on the wrong side of the cross, outside of the Kingdom. The Kingdom is on the right side of the cross. And there is no shame in the Kingdom. 

The Lord's opinion and His word are the truth, no matter how anyone else sees it. If the opinion is in contradiction to the Lord, then it is the one that is wrong, not God. So when we feel like we are something other than what the Lord says we are, we are the ones that are wrong. The Lord is truthful; he cannot lie. It is not in His nature.

The Lord's grace fills in all the holes to make us truly all these things He says we are. It takes all our lives and makes them a beautiful story of love and perfection, so that when we are weak, he is strong. Therefore, it glorifies Him all the more! We cannot go wrong!

We must choose to believe the truth, even when we don't feel it. The Lord has proven himself trustworthy.  

The Lord loves me intimately and personally. I am a beautiful person because of the Lord. No longer will I let the fall determine who I am. Now, I will let the cross determine it, and I will live in his grace.   

 

Shamelessness

I am beginning to realize that freedom is shamelessness, an absence of pride. Being able to fully express myself, with no regard to outside opinion. Living in the total acceptance of my God, my love.

Desert Time

The Lord has brought me into the desert and it is a dry and lonely place. Thankfully, He told me he was bringing me into the desert, otherwise I might be more discouraged than I currently am. Knowing there is purpose in it gives me hope at least. I was reading Hosea 2, and seeing many parallels in it for me in my life and just knowing the Lord will restore me and speak sweetly to me. Right now he is stripping me of my false gods which have for so long given me identity and purpose. He is stripping me of the pride I have placed around my heart that blocks out his love and prevents me from being fully beloved. God is showing me that the only thing that can prevent him from entering fully into my heart, is my unwillingness to let him in. That cannot be forced. That cannot be taken. It has to be given. Right now, he is shining light on those protectors I have placed around my heart, and it hurts. It hurts to know that I have blocked out my love. It hurts to know that I have been wrong. It hurts to be humbled, but I want it. I want all of it. "Crush me Lord into a fine powder, and rebuild me again from the fires of love!"    

Grace

Two nights ago, I was exposed. I was like a volcano that had exploded. My top blown off and all my ugliness sprawled all over, completely unsheltered. As I walked around this mess, I knew there was no excuse to be made for it, no way to explain it away. There was no way to put it all back together. No way to hide it. There it all was, completely defenseless. Most of it had gone unrecognized by myself, unknown, until that night. I looked at it and was disgusted, ashamed. I wept bitterly, knowing it was all true, knowing I had not the power to change any of it. I couldn't even imagine it away. I knew there was meaning in this. I knew that I needed to see it. I knew that I was hideous and unlovable. I knew that in this state, I could not even ask for love. I didn't want to ask for it, because I had nothing to offer in return. I could promise nothing. I could not say that I would get better; that I would please in any way. All I could say was, " I am ugly." 

Then the Lord did something amazing, He looked straight at my ugliness, not denying it, and loved me anyway. He held me and loved me entirely in his own power and capacity to love, receiving nothing from me, and I was undeservedly safe. Completely accepted because of who God is, not because of who I am. It is unfathomable.

I have never understood grace like this before. Never know it to this capacity before. The Lord loved me in my shame, so I can do nothing to part from his love, nothing to un-deserve it, because I didn't deserve it to begin with.  In this, how can I not trust the Lord with my entire life, my entire being? He loves me more than I love myself. Even I was not willing to love such an ugly person, yet his love alone has made me beautiful. Therefore, the Lord may have my life to the fullest, for he has proven himself trustworthy.

-Tara  

Interesting to think...

In writing about government freedom, I began to wonder if it paralleled spiritual freedom. So, I took a piece I had written and changed the context to spirituality and this is what I got. I think there's something to it. 

Here's what I wrote about government:

For a nation to be free, they have to hold themselves personally responsible and accountable, not relying on a government to make things good or right in their lives. This is harder to do than it sounds. They cannot allow government to justify their immorality because it is legal. They cannot allow traditions and routines to be their moral compass. They must do what is right, no matter the cost or hardship, in order to maintain their freedom.

Here's what it sounds like when the perspective is changed to spirituality:

For a believer to be free, they have to hold themselves personally responsible and accountable for relationship with the Father, not relying on the church to make things good or right in their lives. This is harder to do than it sounds. They cannot allow the church to justify their apathy because it is common. They can't allow traditions and routines to be their moral compass. They must seek relationship with the Father, no matter the cost or hardship, in order to maintain their freedom in the Lord. 

This is not about Heaven or Hell. This isn't about getting the Lord to love you, he already does. This is about opening your heart to a love that is so great and powerful, that it is worth every drop of sweat, every tear, and every mocking comment. It's about a love that will set you free from the curse of Eden. Free from the opinions of man. It is ours to have, but it will not be easy. Just like anyone in America can have prosperity, if they are willing to do what it takes, so an intimate relationship with the Lord can be any persons, if they are willing to do what it takes. The Lord asks us to let go of things we hold onto, to have faith and trust him, so he can offer us freedom. We are not required to do this, just as we are not required to do this in government, but our life will be better for it if we do.

    

Democracy

Democracy is one of those things that is hard to maintain. You can declare freedom, write a constitution, fight wars for it, and sing songs about it, but you cannot control it. You cannot make people want to be free. You cannot make a nation act a certain way, because if you do, it becomes something other than democracy. Democracy requires a people that will take responsibility for themselves and their actions. It requires a certain amount of self- control.

I was reading “Little Town on the Prairie” to my kids, and came across a paragraph describing this. It reads:

She [Laura] thought: Americans won’t obey any king on earth. Americans are free. That means they have to obey their own consciences. No king bosses Pa; he has to boss himself. Why, she thought, when I am a little older, Pa and Ma will stop telling me what to do, and there isn’t anyone else who has a right to give me orders. I will have to make myself be good. …This is what it means to be free….The laws of Nature and of Nature’s God are what endow you with a right to life and liberty. Then you have to keep the laws of God, for God’s law is the only thing that gives you a right to be free.

Right now we are facing a problem. Too many Americans have decided that it is the government’s responsibility to take care of them, to make their life good. It is the government’s responsibility to take care of and educate their children. It is the government’s responsibility to make sure they are healthy and fed. It is the government’s responsibility to make moral decisions for them. They have forgotten what freedom is.

Freedom comes with a price. When you are free, it means there is no one to blame but yourself. It means you no longer have someone to fall back on if you screw up. It means that you will reap what you sow. There is no floor and no ceiling. You can fall as far as you let yourself, and you can climb as high as you want.

This is exciting to those that intend to work hard and make something of their lives, but this is discouraging to those that want hand outs and unearned success. This feels right to those that want to do good, but wrong to those that are looking for excuses to be immoral. It feels great to the person that wants to take responsibility for how their children turn out and how much they learn, but it feels condemning to the parents that want to blame someone else if their children aren’t smart or behaved. It feels right to the retired couple that had delayed gratification when they were younger and saved for retirement, but it feels hopeless to those that spent every dime they had. This feels great to the family that didn’t take on a house loan for more than they could afford, but terrifying to the family that just foreclosed.  

The person we elect for president will not determine the fate of this country. The people living in it will. Unless our society decides to start taking responsibility for itself, we will head to the only option left. That option is having our freedom taken away for the sake of preservation. If our country cannot function because of the people, then the people will lose the right to decide.  

So on this election day, vote for freedom, not government control. The government will not save us. We have to save ourselves.    

-Tara Schiller

The Day of Atonement

I find it extremely coincidental that on the Day of Atonement (today), I would feel the true cost sin has had upon the human race. My heart feels as though it would burst with grief from the constant separation from the Lord. I long for his return. I am tired of this Earth and all it's sin. I am tired of the constant struggle to find joy; the everlasting pain to stay connected with the Lord. I wonder if there will be ebbs and flows in heaven or if we will always be in perfect communion with our love. Whatever the case, there must be more than this. There must be a place safe from the enemy, where all we know is love. A place where there is no fear, no failure, just grace. A place where joy is everlasting and peace is normal. A place of truth. 

There is no such place here on Earth. There is no such place in this life. The Enemy will always contend. He will always hunt. He will live on in an ever present flowing force until the day the Lord destroys him forever. Is this why Jesus came? Is this what he is saving us from? Will he mend the brokenness while we are still here on Earth? Will he touch our hearts in an everlasting way? Or will he lead us on in a torturous relationship of coming and going? He comes and steals our heart and then leaves and allows the enemy to attack. What kind of lover is that? What kind of lover is that? 

Oh the day that my heart is free. That will be a day worth living for. Today is no such day.

The Dragon Skin

I feel like I am on the brink of a paradigm shift. A new way of viewing the world and my purpose. It’s like Eustice in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader being enslaved as a dragon. He kept scratching off the layers. Layer after layer he scratched, yet he was still a dragon. Then Aslan showed up and dug his claws deep into the flesh of the dragon and he tore off the thick skin down to the core. When he did this, the dragon was gone and the boy, Eustice, remained, a changed person. It was painful when Aslan did it, but it worked.

I am like Eustice. I have picked up this dragon skin along the road of my life and I need God to take it off of me. I can see these windows here and there and I realize life as I know it now is an illusion, like the Matrix. I can’t do it myself, I need God. It has to be God. 

 

part of mE wanTs to live a life of chaos and traVel. a life where Nothing is predIctable bUt everything is aliVe with coloR.  

Another part of me wants to live a stable life of matching furniture and farm house hospitality. Gardens that thrive and are pruned daily, accompany my guests on my veranda.

Which one will win? Who will I become? Who am I really? ONly time will tell.

Fully Loved

I am sad and confused right now. I was somewhat de-validated, if that's a word, about something I heard from God from someone I respect spiritually. I know the obvious thing would be to listen to God, but it brings doubts into my mind about whether or not I heard God right. This is very hard and discouraging. It makes me feel like I am so easily swayed. I hate feeling this way. I hate that I care so much about what other people think of me. I hate that other people's opinions sway me so much! Oh that the Lord would free me from this. I know that if I could be brought to a point of acceptance and understanding of His love and grace for me (real understanding where I not only know it with my head, but truly believe it in my heart), that I would be set free...free in Christ to live fully in His love. What a wonderful thing that would be. The thing I ask the Lord for almost daily is not money, or "security", or health, or acceptance by man. I ask Him for freedom! To live in freedom would be to release me from all the former and  allow me to live. To live not out of a need to exist, but out of a need to thrive, to love and to be fully expressed.

New Blog

I am switching my blog over to blogspot from homeschool blogger. I am doing this because I have decided to stop homeschooling at this point in the life of my family. I am not going to pretend that I know what our future holds, not even our near future, as God has shown me that His plans are greater than mine. Overall, I am glad of it, as life would be completely boring if I knew everything that were going to happen and all that I needed to know. I have named this blog "Freedom", because that is the theme of my life right now. To my current knowledge, freedom is the opposite of fear. And I am tired of fear. It separates us from one another. It causes us to hide away and only want to be around those that are like ourselves. I don't want to live like that anymore. It leads to death. If it's all about relationship, and I believe it is, freedom is living in relationship with the Lord and being so convinced of His love for you that you are set free from religion; set free from the box we try to put God into. It is also living in relationship with the people in the world around us. Real relationship, where we love one another, not trying to constantly outdo each other or impress each other. It's valuing the relationship above our rights. 

This is what I'm coming to understand. Whether or not I'll feel the same way in a year, or even a few months, I have no clue.