Stuff

Why is it that we, as humans, can acquire so much stuff? I feel like I am surrounded by stuff that clutters up my life, yet when I go to purge (even though I do get rid of a lot) I find that most of it feels like a requirement! Yuck!!! I want it all gone. My dad recently had to condense his life possessions down to two suitcases and a carry-on, since he is moving to Africa, and I don't know how he did it. Now, he wasn't bringing any furniture, but even if I got rid of all my furniture, and even if I purged all my kitchen stuff, I would still be surrounded by stuff! So, I am going to challenge myself to take a long hard look at what is in my life and what is really a requirement and then get rid of the rest! Wouldn't that be refreshing? I purged a lot before our move, but it seems like we have more stuff now than ever. So, wish me luck...or better yet, pray for me.   

New Perspective

Well, as I travel down the road of life, sometimes I end up in a well known destination with a new mindset about being there. 

As I prayed this week about the school decision, I felt like the Lord told me that He wanted me to homeschool. He pointed out one of my children and told me they have a special need that I need to nourish and protect for the time being. 

I hate to admit this, but part of the struggle that went on in my mind, is that I have already publicly announced the fact that I will not be homeschooling anymore and now have to take that back. Many times logic, or my logic, can justify something or make it seem like a good and right answer to a problem, but the Lord's logic is not my logic and I have to trust Him.

I have had to ask the Lord's forgiveness many times about trying to push him aside so I can just run the world already without his interference. He must chuckle about that, or worse, know that I have a lack of respect and trust for him. He is not surprised by this, He knows my heart. I think I am the only one surprised...I am only beginning to know my heart.

So for now on this journey, I am still homeschooling, but with less fear of those that are different than I am and less need to be exclusive with my relationships. I am hoping to love people for the people they are, not the culture and status they are, and I am hoping to teach my kids to do the same. 

Hormones

Hormones are one of those blessing/curse things. I am not authorized to speak on behalf of men, never having been one, but for woman it is a cycle of REAL emotions being drawn out by our hormones. Let me explain. Just because something bothers me when I am going through PMS, doesn't mean that it de-validates the emotion I am going through. I am really upset. Even if I recognize that I am hormonal, it does not in any way change how I feel. On the same note, just because I think my husband is the sexiest man alive when I am ovulating, doesn't mean that he isn't really that attractive to me when I am not ovulating. It is just more intensified. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that hormones are like money. Having more of them, or it, at any given time, just magnifies who you really are and what you really feel. So, if you catch me screaming at my kids or husband or cuddling my kids and making out with my husband, know that these emotions are always there, just when I get a little extra kick of hormones, they are, lets call it, more colorful. So please, if you should happen to suspect that a woman you know is having a hormonal issue, DO NOT EVER POINT IT OUT!

Disclaimer: This post was not brought on by my husband commenting on my attitude. It was more of an internal conviction. 

Gratefulness

Today, as we were walking around the Wild Animal Park, I just felt so grateful to be back in Southern California. It was a beautiful day and there was so much foliage everywhere! I never realized how lush California was until I moved to Colorado and then came back. Don't get me wrong, when I was in Colorado I loved it there too. I loved the seasons and the snow and the prairie with it's rolling hills. I especially loved just before sundown when the sun made everything look surreal and golden. I loved the cows and horses everywhere. I also loved the unpredictable weather and exciting storms. (It's always nice to have something to be dramatic about!) 

However, I love California. I especially love the area we are in. It is very nice. Lots of mature trees and growth. I'll take that over large, new houses anyday....well, that's how I feel right now, but who knows, my mind is flexible.

P.S. Don't forget to vote on my poll.

 

Traveling

This road we find ourselves on is a tricky one. Full of twists and turns and bumps and holes. The Lord is teaching me how to stop and smell the roses alongside the road. The more I stop to find the beauty and blessings around me at the moment that they are occurring, the more I love the road. I have a bad habit of looking to the future to find my joy. Planning, hoping and preparing for "something great", but all the while being discontent with the road I am on. Lately, (the last few months) I've been able to see the things around me and be grateful. It has made all the difference. I feel richly blessed. I am living the ultimate life. I am more able to do things I have wanted to do, because I am living in the moment and day. I pray that I can only get better at this. That the Lord will keep working this through me. I am convinced gratefulness is the key to unlocking happiness.   

New Blog

I am switching my blog over to blogspot from homeschool blogger. I am doing this because I have decided to stop homeschooling at this point in the life of my family. I am not going to pretend that I know what our future holds, not even our near future, as God has shown me that His plans are greater than mine. Overall, I am glad of it, as life would be completely boring if I knew everything that were going to happen and all that I needed to know. I have named this blog "Freedom", because that is the theme of my life right now. To my current knowledge, freedom is the opposite of fear. And I am tired of fear. It separates us from one another. It causes us to hide away and only want to be around those that are like ourselves. I don't want to live like that anymore. It leads to death. If it's all about relationship, and I believe it is, freedom is living in relationship with the Lord and being so convinced of His love for you that you are set free from religion; set free from the box we try to put God into. It is also living in relationship with the people in the world around us. Real relationship, where we love one another, not trying to constantly outdo each other or impress each other. It's valuing the relationship above our rights. 

This is what I'm coming to understand. Whether or not I'll feel the same way in a year, or even a few months, I have no clue.